My life as a 20-something yr old with a muffin top, who lives in a foreign country and has a thing for hot nerds.

My best friend Rory is as gay as the sky is blue. He is one of the most delightful, delicious and brutally honest men in the world. He has no hesitations in telling you when your ass looks fat, your cellulite looks like baked beans or if a random stranger has something green in their teeth.

 He reminds me of myself in the way that we are both love addicts. I hate to admit it and i have taken the piss out of him alot of times. But every little girl and gay boy plans their wedding and their children’s names right. It’s kinda like playing the sims but with your own life.So as we talk about the hunt for the elusive prince perfects, we tend to bitch about couples we know alot. It makes us feel better because we are do not have plus one’s to bring to random wedding invitations.

 We do not agree on important bitchy about other couple matters. Rory has just let me in on a secret that i have been trying to ignore for..ever. People date people on their level of attractiveness.

 R: it’s the truth HB (he calls me hotbitch which i love him even more for but i am not worlds greatest typer so it will be abbreviated to HB)

Me: no way, iv seen ugly girls dating hot guys and vice versa. Maybe there are some people left in the world that aren’t superficial. Maybe there are some people left in the world that realise when they are old and ugly and out of viagra, it’s somebodies mind that you need to be in love with.

R: (laughing and choking on bacon sandwich) Seriously Sarah, how many of these people do you actually know. How many hotchicks are dating ugly guys ?

Me: uhhhh look at (now i have to make up friends names here, if they read my blog they could be possibly offended) Emma and Drake. Emma is gorgeous, sure she looks a little bit anorexic but she has perfect hair, perfect clothes and she even has cute eyes, not beautiful eyes but green eyes that are shaped like cats eyes, there really is nothing cuter. And she loves Drake, even though he clearly eats to many cheeseburgers, wears oldman sandles and has less hair on his head then a baby duck.

R; your fucking kidding me sas, you do know who and what his mum ?

Me: ehhh some kind of ex stripper billionaire ?

R; She’s Emma’s boss, as in that fatface boss she is always bitching about. The devil wears prada crazy fashion designer. The one who gave Emma her dream job.

Me: OMG what ? seriously ? i guess i don’t talk to her enough. So Rorz what came first the chicken or the egg ?

R: She dated him then got the job.

Me: but, err they had a baby.

R: ohh yes then she got a promotion.

 We spent alot of time thinking about couples we know, and we could not find one that was a hottie and a nottie that are deeply in love. As much as it depresses me, i have decided on a mission. Pick up a guy out of my league, prove to Rory that said hotty had no ulterior motives. He was just attracted to my super personality.

 

 

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Comments on: "Love according to my gay best friend Rory" (7)

  1. playfulpups said:

    Ha! You made me actually “laugh out loud”! It’s like a real life “WIll and Grace”….

  2. I love this post ! You actually talked about what I’ve been thinking all along. Oh, my. Your gay friend is right. All the hot guys are taken, by gorgeous girls. Aaargh.

    • Aww thanks for the compliment.
      Now i’m not allowed to let Rory read this.
      His head is big enough with about being told his right.
      Surely there has to be some Super hot looking guys leftover.

  3. Just curious, if a straight guy were to be as honest as a gay guy….would the girl truly appreciate the honesty. You take it well from a friend, but if that guy were straight and your man…would you “really” appreciate comments about your ass being fat?

    BTW Interesting post. I enjoyed the few posts I read.

    • hahahahhaha =D

      you could be right, I think im going to have to wait for a guy i date to tell me my ass is fat.
      A guy i dated used to tell me i was a “little pig” but he was refering to the weird things he would find in my bedroom (that wasn’t meant to sound kinky).
      I think everyone appreciates honesty thought, for example if a girl your dating tells you not to wear a t shirt because it looks like a dish cloth would you appreciate her advice or be pissed with her.

      Glad you like what i’v written so far =D
      I’l write some more after i try and find this hot guy who likes me for my brain =/

  4. cookeezrus said:

    This was really funny and so true! All the hot guys are taken 😦

  5. portlandsfunnygirl said:

    People date out of their league all the time! It’s usually hot chicks tho with the less cuter guys. The examples I all have are fictional characters tho LOL But I’m sure they’re based on real people otherwise how could so many tv shows use them? Like King of Queens and Simpsons, Family Guy, etc. But the opposite sometimes happen to. You know the characters from “He’s Just Not That Into You”? The needy girl who kept misreading signs from guy. She was cute but not as cute as the guy she ended hooking up with at the end of the movie. Just saying. Sorry I don’t have any real examples and if I did you probably wouldn’t know them. OH. Okay. My cousin Nathaniel and his wife Jen. While she’s not butt ugly, she’s about a six and he’s at least an 8.5. Just saying. 😛 lol.

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