My life as a 20-something yr old with a muffin top, who lives in a foreign country and has a thing for hot nerds.

Posts tagged ‘gay’

Love according to my gay best friend Rory

My best friend Rory is as gay as the sky is blue. He is one of the most delightful, delicious and brutally honest men in the world. He has no hesitations in telling you when your ass looks fat, your cellulite looks like baked beans or if a random stranger has something green in their teeth.

 He reminds me of myself in the way that we are both love addicts. I hate to admit it and i have taken the piss out of him alot of times. But every little girl and gay boy plans their wedding and their children’s names right. It’s kinda like playing the sims but with your own life.So as we talk about the hunt for the elusive prince perfects, we tend to bitch about couples we know alot. It makes us feel better because we are do not have plus one’s to bring to random wedding invitations.

 We do not agree on important bitchy about other couple matters. Rory has just let me in on a secret that i have been trying to ignore for..ever. People date people on their level of attractiveness.

 R: it’s the truth HB (he calls me hotbitch which i love him even more for but i am not worlds greatest typer so it will be abbreviated to HB)

Me: no way, iv seen ugly girls dating hot guys and vice versa. Maybe there are some people left in the world that aren’t superficial. Maybe there are some people left in the world that realise when they are old and ugly and out of viagra, it’s somebodies mind that you need to be in love with.

R: (laughing and choking on bacon sandwich) Seriously Sarah, how many of these people do you actually know. How many hotchicks are dating ugly guys ?

Me: uhhhh look at (now i have to make up friends names here, if they read my blog they could be possibly offended) Emma and Drake. Emma is gorgeous, sure she looks a little bit anorexic but she has perfect hair, perfect clothes and she even has cute eyes, not beautiful eyes but green eyes that are shaped like cats eyes, there really is nothing cuter. And she loves Drake, even though he clearly eats to many cheeseburgers, wears oldman sandles and has less hair on his head then a baby duck.

R; your fucking kidding me sas, you do know who and what his mum ?

Me: ehhh some kind of ex stripper billionaire ?

R; She’s Emma’s boss, as in that fatface boss she is always bitching about. The devil wears prada crazy fashion designer. The one who gave Emma her dream job.

Me: OMG what ? seriously ? i guess i don’t talk to her enough. So Rorz what came first the chicken or the egg ?

R: She dated him then got the job.

Me: but, err they had a baby.

R: ohh yes then she got a promotion.

 We spent alot of time thinking about couples we know, and we could not find one that was a hottie and a nottie that are deeply in love. As much as it depresses me, i have decided on a mission. Pick up a guy out of my league, prove to Rory that said hotty had no ulterior motives. He was just attracted to my super personality.